Sitting Down with UFO Editor

Edie Rothwell fan7: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's the sound the cow makes and that's the sound yo fat momma makes cos she a cow and welcome to another episode of The Wiki View! Yay! Yay! Yay! Now, peeps, my beloved adoring fans, over the next few weeks I will be sitting down for a one-on-one conversation with each and every single series regular of the hit phenomenon, Wiksteria Lane. Nearing the end of its fourth season, WL - as I call it - is going strong. Shit keeps getting realer and realer! Except none of it make no goddamn sense cos what the fuck is a Miss Edith?! But it matters not, cos we devour each episode as though it were cocaine because damn it is SO. DAMN. GOOD!! Tonight... I shall be interviewing one of the series' original regulars. Someone who was taken before their time. Give it up for the fallen UFO Editor!!

(UFO enters the set as the crowd cheers enthusiastically; some red panties are thrown at him and he picks them up and puts them in his pocket, looking thankful)

Edie: Suga pie honey bunch I love you like crazy even though I barely remember what you did on the show in the first place.

UFO Editor: (chuckles) Why, um, thank you, Edie. It's a, it's a pleasure to be here.

Edie: The pleasure's all mine baby cos I get to look at your rugged face. Ain't he handsome?

(Bitches go crazy in the audience and get tasered by the security personnel)

Edie: Now, banana bread, tell me: how were you approached to be a part of this show?

UFO: Okay, well, um, I actually remember it quite like it was just yesterday. Eurovision night 2012. Renaboss came up to me and he said something like, 'Look, man, I got this idea for a cool, fun webseries project we could do, just a bunch of us, our closest friends.' Something to pass the time, you know? And he told me right away that he had the perfect role for me, someone who was dark and brooding and mysterious, just the kind of character I like to play.

Edie: Did you know what was gon' happen to you?

UFO: Yes, yes! In that very same conversation. He was considerate enough to disclose to me right away that I would be killed off in the ending to season 1. I understand other people that died after me weren't as lucky to receive such a warning. (chuckles)

Edie: Yunno sweetie, I have a bit of a recurring role on the show, I would dare to say it's the most important recurring character ever, and certainly more notable than the one you played, and, if I get killed off, I'ma cut a bitch. Prolly yo momma.

UFO: (looking awkward) Thank... you for the heads-up.

Edie: Always. Now, looking back, the show has been such a success, both with the fans and the critics, and it is still going strong, with some people deeming season 4 to be the best one so far. Does that make you feel sad, knowing that you were cut loose so early on and missed out on the show's peak?

UFO: It is, I suppose, a bit of a shame, but I did love playing the character in that one season, and they keep bringing me back every year.

Edie: You ain't been seen this season yet fool!

UFO: (shady smile) Season's not over yet, um... fool?

Edie: Oooo wow I think we just got a cryptic hint. An omen. Amen!

UFO: (chuckles) Yes, and, um, well, the wrap party for season one, which we did the very next day after we stopped filming - last scene we filmed was indeed the sequence after I shot myself - um, the party also served as my going-away party, for me and KiMO, actually. He was killed off a bit earlier on in the season, but he still stuck around for flashbacks and what not, and we were both officially let go as regular castmembers after that party.

Edie: Did KiMO also know he was gonna die?

UFO: I believe he did, yes. None of us knew, but he did. I think Renaboss let him know that he was going to be a bit of a faux main character, dying very early on to surprise the audience more. But we didn't know of it, and when I read the script for that episode, my jaw dropped. That's one of the things that's so great about the show, there is not a single episode in which something mind-blowingly juicy, twisty and turny doesn't happen. It can be the most ridiculous thing ever like a young woman making love to a dog, something that doesn't add much to the plot, but the thing is, you won't have seen it coming. Because no other mind is as sick as Rena's. (laughs)

Edie: Babe you ain't been inside my mind yet, so... yeah.

UFO Okay then. (chuckles) Anyway, um... Where I was going with this was, at that wrap party, Rena hugged me, and then he put his hands on my shoulders and he said, 'You will always be a part of the Wiksteria Lane family, you know that, right?' I nodded and said I did, and, yeah, he's been bringing me back every year, making sure no one forgets about me, and, well, I'm not sure if I'm at liberty to say this, I hope Rena doesn't put my head on a spike, but, he did say he wanted me back for the last season, and that people would find out something very, very interesting about my character.

Edie: Ooooooooooo damn! So, is the show going back to the beginning?

UFO: I think in some ways it might, yes.

Edie: What was your favorite episode to shoot, and your favorite episode to watch?

UFO: My favorite episode to shoot was, without a doubt, the first season finale. It was probably the most challenging performance I ever took on. Everything, from the flashbacks in which I have to kill Doc, to the confessions and my very first onscreen death, it was a really demanding episode, I went into some serious method moods, and I loved every minute of it. Everyone said I was great, which made me feel really good, very satisfied, that I could contribute to such a wonderful season finale. A true game changer.

Edie: I remember you were rumored to be a locked-in castmember, something of an unkillable nature.

UFO: That's what we wanted people to think, yes. (chuckles) Rena can be quite mean sometimes, I feel bad for the fans of the show.

Edie: Was it also your favorite to watch?

UFO: No, no, you know, I think my favorite episode to watch was actually one I came back for in season 2, a flashback-centric episode that focuses on events taking place at Wiksteria Park. That episode seemed to have so much meaning and filled in a lot of blanks, and it was a delight to read its script, to come back and work with those people and in that set again, and to watch onscreen. All of it was a wonderful experience.

Edie: Any treasured moments from your behind-the-scenes days on the show?

UFO: Joining Rena in gluing KiMO to his toilet seat, in his trailer. A story I will share with my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, surely. (laughs)

Edie: What was the most jaw-dropping moment of the series for you, KiMO's death?

UFO: (serious face) Oh, no, no, no... KiMO's death doesn't even come close, I mean... Last season, at the end, when those two girls were killed off, one before the other... Oh my God. When the first one died, I was appalled, I brought my hand to my mouth and stared sort of blankly at the screen, I couldn't believe it. You see, I filmed that episode, I was there for that one, I read the script top to bottom, and that scene was not in it! (chuckles) Rena and his tricks... I watched all of season 3 and I thought that girl was so talented and precious, and I went there and I met her in person and she was an absolute delight. Then I watched the episode, and... Jesus Christ I don't even know. And she must have known when I met her she would die that episode, and she never let on. What a professional. And then the following week, the season finale... Oh my God...

Edie: That was some gory stuff.

UFO: I couldn't watch. I have to admit, I, I, I closed my eyes. The violence was just too much. Pure brilliance creatively, but, too much to take on. I admire everything that Rena has done with this show, on a dramatic and on a comedic level. And that scene is no exception. But I just couldn't watch it. And will never try to again.

Edie: But you do still watch the series, right?

UFO: Oh God yes, absolutely! I don't miss a single episode. Like you said, it's a drug.

Edie: And what else do you have going on?

UFO: Well, Wiksteria Lane opened up a lot of doors for me, truly. I've had notable roles on other hit shows since, like Desperate Schoolboys, Deception and Wiki Hollow. I just did a pilot for a racy show about fairytales and a penis (smiles) but the critics were pretty hard on it. I think it stands a fair chance, though, we shall see.

Edie: Well I love Snow White and I love cock so put them together and... you get a freak tranny, get it out of my sight, but yes, I wanna watch that show! UFO, that's all that we have time for, thank you so much for stopping by.

UFO: Thank you for having me.

Edie: Two more episodes left in the season, y'all, don't miss out on what that creepy-ass doll and that weird-ass robot are gon' do next. Next week we will be Sitting Down with KiMO!! Yaaay!!

(Crowd cheers, as UFO and Edie hug and exit the stage)