Sitting Down with KiMO

Edie Rothwell fan7: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! Welcome bitches to an all-new episode of The Wiki View! Tonight we have... the least interesting star from Wiksteria Lane. So, yeah, let's get this over with. KiMO, come on out!!

(KiMO enters the set, nobody cheers; he flips the bird to the audience with both hands)

Edie: So... last week we talked a lot about you, me and our first guest from the show, UFO Editor.

KiMO: Ok.

Edie: Tell us about an incident regarding you being glued to your toilet seat.

KiMO: Right, that. Renaboss and UFO thought it would be fun to pull that classic prank on me. I wanted to stab them afterwards, but my representatives advised me against it. Don't you just hate the law sometimes? Like... I didn't ask to be born, you know? I didn't ask to be placed in this world, so why do I have to abide by its rules?

Edie: I don't, I have a license to kill anyone I please, I am Edie Rothwell fan7.

KiMO: I envy you.

Edie: You should. Now, tell me, how were you approached to do the show in the first place?

KiMO: Right... well, Renaboss came up with the series, with this weird premise that I still don't get to this day. He had a lot of time on his hands to develop the series 'cause he was an unemployed loser. He told me he wanted me to be in the cast, and that I was to play an obnoxious character, a total departure from me, and that I would be like this phony series regular, that would die early on.

Edie: How did you take that?

KiMO: Meh. I just did my part. Rena paid me for it, so, whatever.

Edie: Did you enjoy playing the role?

KiMO: Not really, wasn't very challenging. My character didn't do much of anything. And then he just died, so, that.

Edie: Surely you must enjoy the series though, you have been featured pretty much every season, right?

KiMO: So long as I don't have anything else going on and they agree to pay me well, sure, I'll appear.

Edie: Are you featured in season 4 at all?

KiMO: Is that the current season?

Edie: Yes.

KiMO: Then yeah, I'm in the season finale.

Edie: Oooooo wonderful!! Aren't you worried you're gonna be in hot water for revealing that?

KiMO: Whatever.

Edie: What can you tell us about what happens in the finale?

KiMO: I don't really know. Like, I only ever read my scenes out of the scripts they send me. They really should be considerate enough to single out my scenes and send them to me individually, but alas, they're not. It's a pain in the ass having to look up my stuff, especially when I don't do much anyway. Anyway, basically I just show up and have lunch with everyone, and smile a lot and whatever, I don't know what was going on.

Edie: Oh. Well, are you brought back to life?

KiMO: Fuck knows. No one told me that, that much is certain.

Edie: Are you expected to be in season 5, the confirmed final season?

KiMO: Not as of yet.

Edie: UFO Editor has already been invited to feature in the final season, though.

KiMO: Well, I'm not UFO Editor. What's your point?

Edie: Okay, sorry. Um, anyway, what was it like filming your death scene?

KiMO: Eh.

Edie: Well... what is your favorite moment of the series?

KiMO: I don't know. Something I did. That time that I talked... about that thing, that I said.

Edie: Right... And your favorite episode that you shot, and that you watched?

KiMO: Well, I can tell you my least favorite episode that I shot, when they brought me back just to lie in the dirt as a cadaver. That was fucking awful. It was pouring like a bitch and they covered me in white make-up and what not and made me lie in the dirt. I hated it. But I had already signed up to be in that episode, so I couldn't back out. I promised myself I'd never get back to the show after that, but alas, they managed to twist my arm and I've been back twice since.

Edie: I am not enjoying this interview.

KiMO: Yeah, well, me neither, you're not paying me for it. My agent said it'd be good for my career though.

Edie: I sincerely doubt that. How is your career going by the way, since your regular stint on Wiksteria Lane ended?

KiMO: I've done stuff here and there.

Edie: (looking stoic) Fascinating, utterly fascinating. What was your favorite behind the scenes moment? On WL, of course.

KiMO: Hmmm... There was this one time I managed to spot Lady Junky showering in her trailer. A cherished moment I probably should not have disclosed of...

Edie: Probably. Do you still watch the series?

KiMO: (grins) I have better stuff to do on Sunday nights.

Edie: I'm sure. Well, we still have a few minutes left, but, let's get this over with, I'd rather twerk for the rest of the show than listen to you. Tune in next week, everyone, when we bring in someone far more enchanting, as we get to Sitting Down with BelleLover! Now, get out.

(KiMO gets up and leaves, and Edie starts twerking and humping her chair)